what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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