So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
do herpes really smell.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
As shirtless as possible
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
