we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
