dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
