um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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