She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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