i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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