You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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