WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
