I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
