There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize