in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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