i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
