So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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