2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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