I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize