what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
