I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
