We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just had sex bonerless
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
