we made out on top of his cat.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
