On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
