he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
