Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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