it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
