I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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