dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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