Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
