pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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