i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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