It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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