i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
