he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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