I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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