I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
