He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
