btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
