I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
