She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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