Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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