i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
