There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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