I cannot find my penis.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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