i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
