she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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