my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
