how can u be prego again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize