it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
