Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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