His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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