I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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