I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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