Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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