I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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