I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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