You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
