1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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