don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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