fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
This baby is an asshole
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
