i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
