I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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