she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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